Business Idea #2 - Clean, Green Earning Machine

Idea number 1 and 3 were deleted because someone not as lazy as myself worked on their idea and brought it to the market before i could bring my lazy a#@ to the computer and type a few paragraphs about it.

Recently, my Mom was saying that dumping waste on the road was now punishable under law in Tamil Nadu with a fine or even imprisonment. Like always, i was quick to say that it will never be effective and the government will forget it even before the news spreads to all the citizens in the city. But then, measures such as these are designed to fail.

We do not live in a homogenous world. People in the same house are not alike and do not always concur on thoughts or actions. I would like to be in a clean environment and i'm prepared to spend x amount of time and money to make my environment clean. That does not mean that everyone in my house or my street or locality has the same thought process. But we all concur on one thought, "Let someone else start it"

We are so good at following. Half full garbage bins with more garbage strewn all around the bin are a common sight in this city. I wish there were cameras installed there, so that we could clean the place just once and wait and watch. The first person that dumps garbage outside the bin should receive a royal a#@ kicking because i feel it sets off a chain reaction. All of a sudden, it is now ok to dump garbage outside the bin because there is garbage already there.

When the process of making a place dirty is a chain reaction, so should be the process of cleaning. Instead of having a state wide law, we should start at a small place in slow pace.

Thats where this idea comes from. Take a locality in the city, lets say Nungambakkam. More specifically Loyola college. This is where it will start. We start by cleaning the campus and putting measures in place to keep it clean. Simple announcements by the dean and frequent bulletins will help immensely in this environment of almost like minded people. We learn from our mistakes and make constant improvements and establish a system that can be horizontally deployed. Next, we do not move to other colleges but jus outside the campus.

We tie up with the local businesses and schools and churches and expand the system to the streets and roads near the college. Place dust bins, employ cleaning staff, supply cleaning equipment and fix time tables. We should spread information and knowledge through these institutions to the people living and working the area on how the cleaning system works and what small things they can do to keep it working. Distribute leaflets to all houses in local languages and pictographic representations. Have a helpline number that would respond to any call in case there is a lapse in the system. Gather some media attention so that people even crossing the area become aware of the speciality and maintain the cleanliness.

Get in advertisers for the dust bins of cleaning staff uniform and expand slowly, street by street. Students of the college can form a special team that continuously studies the progress and also alerts of any lapses. At each step, it is important to check on the areas covered. It may take years to cover the city and perhaps decades for the state, but then, better late than never.

News This week

OUTCOME OF 2014 GENERAL ELECTIONS COULD SHAPE INDIA: GOLDMAN SACHS
Saturday, 30th November, 2013 (Actual headline on front page of economic times)

In the most shocking of revelations, Goldman Sachs has said that the upcoming parliamentary elections could play an important part in shaping the future of the country. The government and the citizens of the country are equally in shock after this statement. The leading investment advisory firm based in the US have gone on to say that India needs to focus on reforms.

Finance Minister P Chidambaram said, "We did not see this coming. But then, these are investment advisory firms and their reports are based on a number of criteria assigned different weight ages. It is not necessary that they have to be true. We would like to assure the public that we are doing everything in our power to change the opinion of Goldman Sachs"

The report says that greater stress on reforms and the removal of infrastructure bottle necks may spur India's economic growth. "Firms like Goldman Sachs are such a boon to the world", Rajan said. "If it weren't for this report, we would never have known the secret to economic growth. I would like to emphasis that we are in a very safe position and are on track towards a zero inflation future." Sensex rose by 11 basis points after Mr. Rajan's statement.

We could only get a quick response from Rahul Gandhi, "What elections?"

NaMo responded to us through whatsapp, "I'm very good at shaping the future. Shaping is actually a passion that i have held close to my heart since my childhood. I have even managed to shape an image of myself as a secular and religiously unbiased lauda"

"typo *leader"

Our special correspondent whom we had sent to the Goldman Sachs office in the US was not available for comments since he had apparently missed his connecting flight from Hawaii.

As the nation is gripped by this report, it prepares itself for the high octane mega budget drama that is the general elections 2014.

Irritant

When I was employed with a commercial Vehicle manufacturer in the past, we studied the various things that can go wrong in a vehicle. These faults / complaints were grouped under different categories and each one was given a rating of sorts depending on the severity and dis comfort to the customer. There was one category called "Irritant". That was sub divided into two, Major and Minor irritants. These were small complaints that would not lead to any monetary loss but still concerned the customers, like a rattling door or squeaky passenger seat or stuff like that. But one should not under estimate the power of minor irritants.

When i can sit and learn and lecture on what irritates others, why not have my own list? So here it is,

1. My latest irritation (and what prompted me on this topic) is the new BB pin thingy. Seriously what the hell? As if the unwanted number of messenger services and their lousy ads on TV were not enough. Now terrorists don't have to go to the extent of encoding or decoding their messages, they can transmit messages through one of the messengers and the government would take forever to find the right one. Our generation, sorry, great generation, has the power of communicating infinite number of non sense messages, moral lectures, photographs that are a waste of disk space and 3g data to infinite number of people through infinite mediums.

2. Filthy advertisements. Not the ones that you don't want young kids to see, but the ones that the advertisers themselves don't want you to see or notice. I have done some little study and come to understand that some people have the power to switch off their minds during advertisements. They are clearly watching the ad, but if you ask them something about it, they say they didn't listen. Sadly, I do not have this super power. That is why i get irritated when every week, some cosmetic or soap company comes up with a new chemical element that can make your skin look better. I think all the research they do is finding words that are not in any dictionary. Only if they were sure that the listeners aren't really listening, they can come up with soaps that are made of fruit milk shakes, face wash with magnet action and deodorants that smell like chocolate. I think within the advertising circle, the power of your beauty cream is determined by how ugly you make your model look before they use the cream. Something that put me off recently is the Tang ad. Initially, the mother says that the new Tang has fruit inside. But recent ads have changed the wordings. Now the mother says that the new tang has the taste of fruit. Same ad but changed voiceover. I don't know why, there is no logical explanation, but this highly irritates me.

3. Real Estate. An ad not so far in the future. "Are you looking for a home in Chennai? Look no further. ABC builders (my intention is to quote a random name but i'm pretty sure there is some builder by that name already) is here to solve your problem. Just a 2 hours flight journey from Chennai airport is our lush villa style houses ready for occupancy". Advertisements are everywhere. It is impossible to escape them. There are already premium TV channels that do not have ads. Slowly there will be premium radio and premium internet browsers that will block all ads. Then there will be a time when customers will be paid to watch/read/listen to ads.

4. High beam head lamps. This is the most irritating experience of driving in India. At least 50% of the drivers always have their head lights on high beam. Most of them are bikers. I fail to understand how they cannot notice that they are flashing their lights on faces and not the road. This, and a lot of other things root from our deeply engraved misunderstanding of FREEDOM.

Our freedom is more important than the freedom of others around us. People are entitled to make their own choice, so they go around choosing. Choosing to cross when the signal is red, choosing what their children would graduate in, choosing where their wives should work, choosing when their sons should marry and choosing whom their daughters should marry. We believe we are right, we are more experienced and we know what is best for everyone. Do we?

Assume we have a choice. The most important choices will never have a sure, definite, time bound, quantifiable result. Like buying a home, choosing your spouse, etc. And if a choice has a sure, definite, time bound, quantifiable result, then they are most likely insignificant decisions. Like ordering your food, selecting clothes, etc. Coming to the significant decisions, there is really no way of telling for sure that your decision was wrong. One cannot say that it would have been better if one had selected option B instead of option A because of the simple reason that one did not select option B. The comparison becomes between something real and existent with something that does not, cannot and will not exist. We exercise great strengths of imagination to create this parallel universe where we have made all the right decisions in life, just to gain a feeling of regret or hatred towards life as it is.

Some may lecture on the concept of probability. The probability of success in class B is higher than the probability of success in class A. Try that lecture on someone who has survived a plane crash or  a family who lost a loved one in a lightening strike. The number loses all its charm once you become part of the statistics.

You had a choice to read this article or skip it. I have consumed 3 minutes of your life and given you nothing in return. But don't regret it, because you would have to spend another minute doing that.

On a roll

I am sitting in my office going through my blog after a long time, almost a year, determined to add something today. There are a few ideas i had drafted in the past year but none of them seem interesting once they are typed out in black and white. I guess things are a lot colourful when they are inside your head. I start to dwell on a new topic, try to build on it, check a few things online and finally give up when i reach an article on brain death. I cross my hands on the desk and rest my forehead on them and close my eyes for a bit. Getting the idea out of my head, thinking of removing the blog's bookmark from my browser. Thinking... thinking...

Suddenly the office door is kicked open from the outside and three men enter. One leading and two following, dressed in shabby clothes and looking like none of them has seen water for a week except for when they mix it with their drinks, which i'm guessing took place just before they came over. Having spotted me, they come straight towards me making loud noises with their mouths and also by moving objects in their path. Startled as they come closer, i begin to ask them who they are and what they want but before i can complete the first word, the leader pulls out a gun from inside and places it on my forehead and asks, "Are you Midhun?"

Should i say "Yes"? Do they want me alive and don't mind killing the people who aren't me?

Now I should be saying "No". They are obviously looking to for me and in all probability they want to kill me. They don't look like they care of the consequences and they definitely don't look like the practical joking types.

"Are you Midhun?" He shouts again, this time the other two get excited and kick at the table and chair.
"Yes", i stammer. Honesty is the best policy?

He pulls the trigger. BANG!! 

I get up. What if something like that really happened? What would happen to me after a death like that. Would there be a me? Would i be in heaven or hell? When would that be decided? Is it already decided? Because the gruesome death that i just went through should be accounted while judging my life. That and all the years that i could not live must have nullified all the wrong that i have done. And some more. I imagine i must be in some place in between where the decision is taken. Standing in front of the judging entity or in a line to meet the judging entity. That person standing in line, does he look like me? would i be carrying my body or would it be just my thoughts or conscience looking like a cloud? Wait a minute....

What if there is no heaven or hell the way we think? What if i don't leave my body? My mind just goes into infinite sleep. I can only dream. I can dream everything, sweet ones and nightmares. Maybe, if i have lived good enough, i get to see only good dreams and if i have done wrong, there would be nightmares playing in endless loops. That looks pretty much like heaven and hell. but wait a minute....

What would happen to my body? That body lying lifeless on that office chair with blood dripping through the leather, to the floor. It would be a mess indeed, taking hours to clear the body, days to clean the place and weeks to get rid of the furniture and still people would hesitate to enter the office for a few months to come. It would take a year for the body tissues to decompose depending on the depth of burial and the waterlogged in the soil and many decades for the bones to become brittle enough to.... Wait a minute....

The guy pulls the trigger, igniting the gun powder in the bullet to set it in motion. The bullet leaves the barrel and enters my head, the time reduced considerably because of the nil distance between the two. It penetrates the skin without any fall in speed. I guess i'm still alive at this point. The sensation of pain racing against the bullet to reach my brain first. The bullet boring through the skull taking it some effort before entering the brain. The soft brain tissues easily burning away to give way to the hot piece of metal that comes out through the back and then through the black chair before finally coming to rest on the wall behind me.

Boy...... If i could write at the speed of my thoughts........

A Conversation

"Have you thought about organ donation?", he asked, after searching for topics to discuss. Its been almost a year since they were married. An ordinary couple.

"Not really, but where did that come from suddenly?", she replied. Aware that the subject, like many others, would have come to his mind before.

"Just making conversation. One of the topics that interests me. I have been hearing some ads on the radio encouraging it.", shifting the gear up as they enter the highway.

"I don't know... have you thought about it?", taking more interest. In their busy schedule, they rarely get time to discuss matters that are not really important. Things that she picks up during the day, making a mental note to talk about it later when they are together and have the time. She makes another note to write them down in the future.

"Not seriously, but yes. People don't really need the organs once they die. If it makes someone's life better, its a good thing to donate. What the.... Did you see at what speed he went by? I bet he won't have anything worth donating if he crashes,"

"That maybe one of your school buddies going to the same wedding reception as we."

"Probably. Its not everyday that people get to drive their cars at double digit speeds for a continuous 5 minutes. Another advantage of keeping the reception at the outskirts" noticing that smile on her face. Its different from the smile she has on other occasions. All her work left behind and a long weekend ahead, this one is a rare combination of happiness and peace, something we all pray for and there it is. Just like that.

"I agree", getting back to the topic. "It is a good thing to donate. Imagine someone who is blind gets vision one day. They get to see how their parents and siblings look like, how their food looks like. How they look like"

"How flowers look as good as they smell." he adds. "How the sun looks as warm as it feels."

"Or if someone gets a new heart, the load that would get off their minds. How their family would rejoice?" Her imagination getting her high

"They can start worrying about the next Speilberg movie or the latest government scam instead of their next heart attack and raising medical bills", suddenly that sales target and raising fuel prices seem silly to him.

"The donors would never be forgotten. They would be seen as Gods by these people"

"All that for giving away something you won't be needing. Initially there was that reservation about donating eyes that the donor would not have eyes during the funeral. But i hear that nowadays they replace them with dummy eyes or something so that they won't notice the difference", Adding another reason to donate.

"Yeah, I've heard that too. But then they also say that the success rate is very low. The probability that a donor's eye, heart or kidney would end up being used is very less. The probability of a successful transplant and a healthy life for the patient is even lesser."

"Oh yes. When dad had been to the doctor for his liver problem, the doctor was expressing his sympathy for his liver transplant patients who even after very rarely successful transplants, live like patients who are in constant danger of fatal infections."

"And its the same case with blood donations. The probability of someone's donated blood being useful is very less."

"But I still feel its worth it. Its like our reservation system. The chances of a worthy candidate getting the appropriate aid may be very less, but i say hundred donations are worth it even if it gives at least one person and his family a better future." Bringing the car to a halt in front of the hotel lobby, "pick up the gift from the back seat, would you?"

"Ok. Hey! is my hair ok?" she enquired, adjusting the sides a bit.

He peeps back in, "You look gorgeous honey" with a smile, before turning to the valet boy.

The couple proceed to the reception, have a great time and a sumptuous meal, and drive back home. This time a new subject, something to do with her colleague who joined another company few years back and now came back to the old company as boss to someone who was his boss before he left.

The topic of organ donation may come up again as something less important or may never come up again. Is it the fear of committing to something that isn't really in our hands? We don't know when, where or how we'll die.

Or is it the belief that there is still time left? A feeling that we are not destined to die so early, or god loves us and our family too much to put us through the pain, or there are so many things left to do that we just can't afford to, or don't have the time to die. When you see those accidents on the road, have you wondered what that person was planning in his life? What was he planning to do that weekend? How many parallel futures of people related to him were disturbed and in some cases destroyed?

Or is it the hesitation to think about one's death? Maybe the thought sets in motion a chain of other thoughts that relate to our death. Like our will, or our bucket list, or something that we want to achieve in our lives, or some mistake that we want to correct before we leave the world, or the fate and future of our families when we are gone. No. We can't die now. Not possible. Or is it?

"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather." - Micheal Pritchard

3 is greater than 2

A common problem with people when they drink is that they want everyone within a 4.79 meter radius of them to drink too. If you happen to be in such company and are not the drinking types, then be prepared for a 10 minute lecture on the health benefits of drinking alcohol followed by a 5 minute brief on how it relaxes the body mind and soul. To check if you understood the concept, the offer to drink would be extended to you every 5 minutes in between other discussions till they are in their senses. Once they start loosing that, you'll be tried in the court of law for the crime of not drinking and making them look like irresponsible citizens.

So this time, i gave in at the fifth minute. A beer and a few burps seemed like a more energy saving option. We were in a hotel room, 11 PM, the three of us, after a very very long day. There are some trips that you can never forget in your life because of certain incidents that happened. May be an accident, or a close escape, or getting into trouble with the cops, or sharing the passenger seat with your crush who friendzoned you at the end of the trip. There were no such incidents in this trip but i can never forget this one.

I live in Chennai and the other two (Nikhil and Sagar) live in Bangalore. We had planned this one for a few weeks. To meet at Bangalore and then go somewhere and do something fun. I started in the Innova, early on a saturday morning. The plan was to reach Bangalore, pick up the guys and head out to Sangam (a place where 2 rivers meet) and Barachukki falls which were around 150 Kms from Bangalore and about 40 Kms apart, and reach back to Bangalore. I picked up Nikhil at around 1 and he started listing out reasons why we should be sitting in a cinema hall and follow it up with a burger instead of starting out so late without planning any accommodation blah blah blah. Sagar was out with his cousin who had come to Bangalore, so he was out. Its a wonder how relatives manage to fly in at such crucial times. However, the trip was called off, almost. I didn't drive all the way to Bangalore on a weekend to pay for weekend premium tickets to watch some movie sad enough to be still selling tickets. So I talked Sagar into ditching his cousin. Nikhil didn't need convincing, i was driving. Change of plans. Pick up Sagar and spare clothes, drive to Sangam, pass time, drive to Barachukki, have fun, sleep in the car, wake up, drive back.

Again, i would like to mention that there was nothing crazy in this trip. It did not remind us of "Zindagi naa Milegi dobara", although we did take a few pics based on the movie poster. You could call it a "Dil chahtha hai" type of trip, minus the mercedes, and the beach, and the girls, and the boat. Anyways, there was one factor that was common in these movies and our trip, we were 3. Its a magical number. Less than 3 and there is only one conversation in which you necessarily have to participate. More than 3 and there will be multiple conversations and you are left out. When there are 3, there is still only one conversation, but you have a choice to participate. You can doze off and wake up to some keyword and join the conversation again. You are never left out and there is always a conversation in progress.

The trip was never planned to be great. Just 3 professionals taking a peaceful break from the routine weekend. But everything seemed to go our way. The weather was just fantastic, the roads and routes just perfect, safe fun in the river, playing Jhonty Rhodes in waist deep water, found a very decent place to stay the night (enter alcohol), woke up early on sunday (that is a great achievement in such a group), took a boat close enough to the waterfall to touch the water, got wet in a smaller waterfall, some very memorable pics, and the drive back to Bangalore to have tandoori for lunch.

There were these moments in between, like when i was lying in the rear seat with my feet hanging out the window, and using the window as a sunroof, singing some classic songs together, discussing non sense. At these moments there is a feeling of real satisfaction with life. Weekends like these make the troubles of the other days worth it. I forget my boss, my dad's expression when i said i'm taking the car to Bangalore, that cool new laptop which is on my wishlist for sometime, everything is gone. There are no regrets, life suddenly seems perfect. I wish this weekend never ends but i don't regret the fact that it will. I'm ready to face the world. I've recharged myself.

We always plan trips, most of the time they don't happen, other times they don't go according to plan. This was one trip where we got exactly what we wanted, a memorable break. A weekend to cherish, photos to upload, and a story to tell. There cannot be another one like it, but we still wish.........

I Close My Eyes

"You never call me. Actually, no one calls me. Even if they do, they wanna talk to your grandfather, not me.", My  grandmother complained with tears in her eyes. She was wearing this night gown that my mom had bought during our last visit, after searching a lot. People of her size (10-12 yr olds) prefer frocks and night dress (shirt and pant). She is so tiny that you feel like Goliath sitting next to her. I had gone to visit her and grandpa in Kerala after my wedding to show them the lucky girl, since they could not make it to the wedding in Chennai due to their delicate physical condition. These are my Mom's parents, aged around 90 years. My Dad's father passed away many years ago while grandma visits frequently. She's fit enough to travel, although not comfortably.

My grandparents have their separate room. They live in the family home, taken care of by one of their sons and his family. One of 10 children that this fragile being managed to give birth to. Their room has no fan since it causes discomfort to both of them. I have no memory of my grandmother being anything close to good health. She's always been weak and tired. Grandpa is quite different. Until a few years ago, my grandfather was exceptionally healthy and fit. He used to carry out a vast range of house hold chores. And house hold chores in Kerala is a whole different ball game. It includes milking and feeding the cows and clearing their stable, churning rubber and making compressed sheets after extracting the fluid from the trees and plucking fruits and vegetables from the surrounding trees whenever one of their children decides to visit them. He had a very healthy set of teeth and never wore a piece of footwear in his lifetime. The only physical issue he had was that his hearing was low. We had to speak a bit louder for him to listen, which was never really a problem. I think old age got to him at the end. He grew weaker and slower. His visits to the rubber dealer were replaced by the visits to the hospital. Now, he barely manages to go to the church across the street on Sundays. The church that was built on his major contribution of time and money. It pains to see these people of such magnificent strength and character, now reduced to mere humans struggling to get through the rest of their lives. Every activity, from waking up in the morning to breathing throughout the day takes so much struggle that you wish from deep inside, if there was anything you can do to release them from their suffering. All these thoughts run through my mind as soon as i enter the room and find both of them awake on their separate beds breathing heavily interrupted by groans of pain. But the moment they see us, and start talking, the mood changes.

I asked this tiny creature how she found my girl for which she replied that she's perfect for me, with the most genuine smile that you can imagine. Grandpa was a bit critical when he said, "She's nice. There are a few defects but thats natural. She's a fine girl". When i asked him what defects he saw, he said that he would disclose that to anyone but me. Over the years I've got to hear a very few words from my grandpa but they have had more meaning and wit to it than i can contemplate. My grandparents are a funny lot. Even at her age, we can afford to make fun of grandma, about her tiny outline and her huge asthma inhaler, and she would laugh along with us with a few coughs in between. A few more minutes with them and you realize that they have accepted their life the way it is. They complain of the pain and discomfort and silently pray for it to subside. I hear them, see their suffering, feel their fragile hands, and i close my eyes. I close my eyes to their suffering. I try to forget their pain and converse normally. To avoid complaints and dwell in jokes. They play along. Because they know that I cannot give them any physical comfort. Its our presence that they long for more. To talk to them, laugh with them, show some love and care, call them. I had decided to call them every month to start with. Been 2 months and i haven't called them yet. Grandma was hospitalized soon after our visit and then brought back home. Mom says its difficult for her to talk over phone now. I know what i should do, but i close my eyes. I close my eyes to the simplest of their heart's desires. I give my reasons for not doing it, but can't manage to convince myself. When i can do so much good, with so less effort. Sin is not always something we do, it can be something we don't.

Before leaving, my grandfather advised my wife, "Never do everything that your husband wants, understand his parent's needs and you will have a happy family". My mother recounts that he said the exact same words when he married her off to my Dad. (A love story that i have saved for later)